how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
