weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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