the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
