Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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