I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
