There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize