Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
