I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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