Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Randomize
