she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
