Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
