girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
