Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
