those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
