i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
