so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
