Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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