Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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