So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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