Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
