He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
