How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
