I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
