were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
