He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
