I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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