I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
