i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
