sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
