There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Vodka?
Forever.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
