My pussy is not your playground.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
