i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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