You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
