you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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