the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
