You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
