Nicole vs. Life
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
