my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize