You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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