You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
