just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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