i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
