Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
