Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can't turn off my feet"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
