Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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