home. puking in laundry basket.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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