You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
