playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
