forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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