We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
