Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize