Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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