she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
