I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
