My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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