The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
