my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
