I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
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The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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