She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
