Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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