Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
