i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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