So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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