I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
