Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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