Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
